Waking Moon
by Alycoris
Summary: A short series of how Shinjiro lives and copes and with a life without Hamuko. Shinjiro-centric.
1. Chapter 1

The doctors called it a miracle that he had survived the terrible repercussions of those godforsaken drugs and lived through being shot twice in the chest by a revolver, but frankly, he didn't care. He feels like a mess.

He was alive— according to Akihiko and Mitsuru, that was what mattered. He had survived. But at what cost was this miracle evoked? What was the point now?

His reason for being alive was gone.

Hamuko was _gone_.

_Gone_.

He was the last person to speak with her, to see her awake… the last witness of her final moments on this world.

For all its worth, he feels like a worthless piece of shit for being unable to do anything.

She was in a place where she couldn't be reached, touched, heard, seen… Hamuko had paid the ultimate price; she sacrificed herself for some world that wanted to die. She gave up her life for a dying world.

Ah, but not just any world.

A world that had her beloved friends with it.

That was reason enough to stop the entire world's demise.

Goddamn it.

She just had to be selfless, didn't she? Or no. it was her selfish desire that prevented Nyx from destroying everything.

He hated himself for the fact he wasn't there for her. That he was comatose— asleep for the entirety of the ordeals she had faced and survived. For all his worth, he just wanted to curl up into a ball and mourn. Mourn over the girl who had save him, no, everyone. No one would ever know of her sacrifice, and would dismiss her death as a tragic, inexplicable accident. Just like with Amada's mother, the truth would never be known.

The truth fucking hurts, though.

He can never be with her. He knew this from the start, but _damn_, her ungodly persistence won him over—

But to what end?

She was gone.

She left him nothing but a gaping hole in his heart.

…

He wanted her here.

He wanted to be with her.

He wanted to see the stupid crybaby he fell in love with— the unimaginably strong girl who gave him a reason to keep going. A reason to wake up and escape from a hospital, of all things. A girl who gave him the notion that defying fate was possible.

He was ashamed to have contemplated suicide to be with her. He's ashamed at despairing, whilst being all too aware of the monster she's keeping away fuels itself on such emotions.

He really is undeserving of her. The thought makes him smile bitterly.

Despite everything, he's not ready to say goodbye to her. Not while knowing she's out there, watching over him.

He'll never forget her.

It's a niggling feeling in the back of his mind, but he can't help but think that she's the one who bought him time. Another feeling in the back of his mind— he's not too sure whether it's Castor or not— tells him he has ten years' worth of time to make something of himself.

The same amount of time that she was bought to live a life of normalcy before leaving for good.

But what could he do?

He has nothing. He _is_ nothing.

… He remembers that she was the same way. The difference was that she made something out of herself— in a year, no less!

He sighs. He's not her. He's no Superman— but neither was she. Was was just as human as any other person walking on the planet, maybe more.

All he knows is that she's the girl he fell in love with.

… If she could become someone worth knowing in a year, then he could take his second chance of life in this god-awful world.

He would live.

Yes, he would live. Somehow, he'd figure it out.

He'd live for the both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

His thoughts are scattered.

Yet, nonetheless, he worked. He worked hard towards his Graduation, but to what end?

Now what?

Trying to find a purpose in life is harder than he imagined- but then again, what exactly was he expecting?

He's an ex-drug addict with a shortened lifespan, with an infamous love for dogs and a strange hobby in cooking. What the hell can he accomplish?

_"Sempai, this is the best!"_

…Well.

He can cook.

Formal cooking training be damned, _he can cook._

That's a start.


	3. Chapter 3

He procures a job at Hagakure, somehow.

The job's decent and the hours are fine, but all he can think about is how he's just wasting his time.

Life seems so dull to him. Apparently, it was the same for Akihiko. The fool gave up college to go traveling around the world.

"Perfecting his punch." What kind of reason is that? He's still such a kid.

Yet, he can't help but feel a bit envious. He's been in Port Island for all his life... maybe he should go see the world-

Except, that kind of thing isn't the life for him. What is, then?

He doesn't have an answer.

But it's no reason he should give up.

He reminds himself on Sunday to visit the Naganaki shrine. He walks himself over to her grave, feeling a tad foolish for not bringing flowers, or anything of the sort. It's not really his style, though, and she would most definitely understand that, wouldn't she?

He thinks to what he promised, and decides to stay.


	4. Chapter 4

He doesn't watch a lot of TV, but he does enjoy cooking shows. It's a guilty pleasure of his, as the other caught him before.

That's not the problem, however.

Sometimes, he swears the TV turns on in the middle of the night by itself. It's not just limited to static; it makes freaky noises too.

He's not sure how, or whether it's a bug or not, but this evening he finds himself staring at the blank screen before him.

He nearly has a heart attack when the TV emits an ungodly screech and as a thousand hands seemingly emerge from the screen, trying to drag him in.

He consciously scrambles backwards, knocking over the coffee table to seemingly escape the hands, only to realize that they were never there in the first place.

It's past midnight, and TV be damned, he's going to sleep.

He's pawning it off first thing in the morning. He can do without that bullshit.


	5. Chapter 5

He still finds himself walking the dog sometimes.

His apartment doesn't allow for him to keep pets, and to be fair, he knows Koromaru is no pet of his. The damn dog can take care of himself; he takes care of the shrine too while he's at it, and hasn't stopped since then.

Still, he's always had a soft spot for the dog.

Someone's gotta reward him from time to time, right? The damn dog's loyal. He still chooses to protect the shrine, even though it's been years after his master's death, and Shinjiro can't help but wonder if Koromaru feels the same way he does now.

Imagine Shinjiro's surprise that afternoon when he finds Koromaru the victim of a hit-and-run car accident.

Fuck.

Humans are such _bastards_.

As he's carrying the albino shiba in his arms and running to the nearest vet with all of his strength, landlord be damned, Koromaru's staying.


	6. Chapter 6

That event was the second time something had died in his arms. This time, there was blood, and his favorite pea coat was forever stained.

He must be cursed.

Koromaru would have stayed if he lived, that was for certain, but fate had other plans. The others were devastated, of course- some more, others less.

Now two were gone.

He wonders if he'll be next.

He finds himself sitting at the Shrine benches, alone. They cremated the Shiba, and spread his ashes at the Naganaki shrine. It only seemed fitting. Now he could guard the place he loved so much in spirit forever. Iori, or whatever the hell his name was, mentioned that they should build a statue of Koromaru in his honor. Like the Hachiko statue in Shibuya.

Except dogs don't need shit like that though. The thought's nice, but unnecessary.

* * *

><p>It's been a week, and Shinjiro's entire thought process can be amounted to the following:<p>

"Is this really the world you gave up your life to save? Is _this_ really what you're going to protect for all eternity?"

Shinjiro swears at himself. By no means, is he going to let his dread get the better of him-

She taught him better than that.

That Friday, he burned the blood-stained coat.

It was time to move on.


	7. Chapter 7

While Shinjiro enjoyed his moments of being alone, he hated loneliness.

There was a distinct line between the two; the auburn-haired girl, Koromaru, and Akihiko were the few on his very short list who he did not mind having around to stay his fears, yet two of those would never return, and Akihiko was god-knows-where.

Loneliness.

It was something that he would never admit to being plagued by.

He had a reputation to keep, after all. Besides, he's never let it get the best of him- whatever that may be.

He let people think what they want. People were people, and as the years went by, they only seemed to become more difficult _and_ stupid. They were such a pain to deal with sometimes, let he does not shut himself from reality.

He worries how their behavior affects the Seal as the voice in the back of his mind whispers doubts.

The world hasn't ended yet. He'll keep hoping for her.

This was her choice- her answer.

So as long as he remembered her, he would never be alone.


	8. Chapter 8

Several kids walk into Hagakure and all of them ask for house specials.

Shinjiro obliges.

Frankly, the kids seem like a ragtag bunch- you wouldn't expect a group like this walking around together… with a guy in a mascot suit to boot.

Whatever. Customers are customers, and frankly, he's reminded of S.E.E.S. Just vaguely.

Their antics make him feel nostalgic.

Thug Face yells at Headphones, Headband cracks up and her friend in the green giggles. Bowl Cut watches over them all with an amused smirk as a girl with an voice almost _too_ similar to hers latches onto his shoulder, laughing gaily.

The Bear devours food, bowl after bowl, until paying becomes something far beyond their means.

They leave him.

Shinjiro feels sorry, almost sympathetic, and he ends up covering for most of the Bear's food. Bear is delighted, and thanks him happily and hurriedly before thrusting a pair of rather expensive-looking sunglasses into his hand. Before Shinjiro can react, a quick utterance of 'Thanks, Chef-san!' is said as Bear speeds out the door.

He follows.

When asked why he's given glasses of all things, he finds Bear already running off down the stairs after his alleged friends.

"They'll help you see the truth!" He calls as he keeps running.

His parting words baffle him.

Nonetheless, with a puzzled look, he puts them on and finds that the sunglasses do nothing. He keeps them anyway.


End file.
